Is It Worth It To Hold Space?

Hey everyone! I hope you and your families are safe and sound during this pandemic. I know many of us are ready for it to be over and get back to some type of normalcy. One thing I will say is this: things must be different because what we were doing before was not working and changes needed to be made not just individually but collectively. With all the retrogrades occurring, eclipse energy, New Moon energy and etc. We are all trying to find some inner balance in order to make sense of what we are experiencing. In a greater perspective and in uncertain times several veils are being lifted and the rose colored glasses are officially coming off. We can no longer afford to keep doing the things that do not satisfy our higher good. We are all being pushed to be better, do better and want more for ourselves. Even relationships with family, friends, potential lovers etc is and has changed in different ways. Some of us had to re-established our boundaries while some may not be happy about it but at the end of the day it isn’t about them it is about you. Before I really dive into this topic of course my disclaimer: I am not an expert on you! I share my experiences in hopes it helps and heals those that come along. My ultimate intent is to bring those to a higher level of understanding and acceptance of self. I cannot tell you how and when to do the work but I want to show you through my own experience that if you do the work your life will be changed.

So we have heard the phrase “ holding space” that could be for a number of things but what I am referring to is holding space for a person. Think about it: where in your past or present relationships/friendships did you find yourself waiting to see if a person will or would change? We all have been guilty of waiting too long to see the results when we have already received confirmation if we need to hold space or not. The question to ask yourself is: would this person hold space for me? Would this person allow me the time and space to heal and to become better? How open and receptive is this person to fully understanding what I am trying to accomplish for myself? Many of us have dealt with individuals who become susceptible to being self-absorbed, narcissistic, selfish etc. because of how the world is set up and the experiences that they have been through with people who were not good for them. Some fail to realize there is so much more that they can become and even though they may have been hurt they can overcome that in time. This physical act of moving on can be a tiresome undertaking because it is not just about removing yourself from the person but taking back your energy you so freely gave. Yes you can call back the energy you put out because it does belong to you! ( Click on the link to find out how https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siQWuaRNixA ) Once you have done that you will start to feel better about putting the focus back onto you.

Something else I would like to impose on you: instead of you holding place for a person what about holding onto an idea of a person, especially if they shared their goals and aspirations with you? Honestly, I do not think you should space just for anybody but those that sit well within your spirit and bring a positive aspect into your life. Holding space requires a level of common sense, awareness, an intuitive nature and a much broader understanding of oneself. One of the reasons why I think we at times unintentionally hold space for a person is because we fall in love with the potentiality of the person and not the person that is present. If we are not careful we end up breaking our own hearts because we see only what we wanted to see and miss the red flags that may have already presented themselves.

So to go back to the question of: is it worth it to hold space? That is a question to ask yourself and look at all the information that is presented to you. Look at the person’s character, how they treat themselves and others, how their minds work, their level of comprehension ( listening and hearing is fundamental!), the life experiences that have had friends and relationships just to name a few. You can go as far as creating a pros and cons list to dive in further so you can have a visual and then go from there. Ultimately, you should know what you want and what you do not want; what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate; establish healthy boundaries; be open and receptive in communicating how you feel in a healthy and safe atmosphere. Love plays a role but do not let that be the only requirement necessary to hold space for that particular person. That word gets thrown around alot and I am a firm believer in telling someone I trust them before I love them because you can love everybody but there are only going to be a small few that you actually trust. So until next time remember to be good to yourself and others, be kind and always #LiveLifePositive